Suffering: “Did You Ever Ask God Why?

Angel statue pleading with God

Have You Ever Asked God, “Why?” A while back a reader asked me, “Have you ever asked God why? Did He answer?” Most of us have asked “Why?” There are so many why’s to ask God: Why are you letting this awful thing happen to my family? Why aren’t you listening to my prayers? Why did you let us get married in the first place? Why couldn’t he love me? Why wasn’t he faithful to his wedding vows? Why dn’t you stop bad things from happening in the world?  So my short answer is, yes, I’ve asked God “why?” many times. Sometimes it seems as though He has answered and sometimes it feels like lonely silence. A Lot of “How” Before the “Why” When I first learned my marriage was in trouble, I was too stunned to ask God “why?”  At that point, I was just scrambling to keep my life from unraveling. It was a blurry year and a half before we actually separated and eventually divorced. During that time the gut-wrenching betrayal of abandonment and emotional devastation consumed me while I struggled to accept and adjust to a new reality. My depression and anxiety kicked it up a notch and medication only took the…

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Sharing the Holidays: Merry Christmas From My Broken Family

The holidays will never be the same for any of us with families broken by divorce. My family’s experience of the holidays are likely very different from yours. We were blessed to have a “cordial” divorce. There were no abusive behaviors or viciousness in the marriage, during the divorce process, or afterwards. Your family must choose, with the grace of God, how to re-create and share holidays to best fit your unique families. Holidays are a reminder of the brokeness in my family.  Although our divorce agreement spells out the shared holiday schedule, we have never gone by it. In fact, I couldn’t tell you where my children are supposed to be this Easter, but I can know where they will be. Every year, every Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, my children do what they have always done. They start the morning at home with Mass and breakfast. Then at some point between 11am and 1pm off they go to the big family meal with grand-parents, aunts, uncles and cousins. We used to do that as a family. Now they all go without me. It’s Not Fair It’s my legal right to have the children all to myself on certain holidays. But just because…

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Surviving Divorce: Our Weakness, God’s Strength

Battle scene our inner battle

How do you survive after the destruction of divorce? The only way I was able to make it day-to-day after divorce was through the strength God gave me. My marriage broke up over a year and a half that felt like glass shattering in my hands as I tried to hold onto life as a family. When my husband finally moved out, I was devastated. I used scripture verses to help me survive day-by-day as we went through the divorce and as I survived through the first couple of years afterwards. This was one of my favorites verses; I memorized it and recited it to myself throughout the day: “Out of weakness we were made more powerful, became strong in battle, and pushed back foreign invaders.” Hebrews 11:34 Here is the entire passage to relish and see the context before I adapted it: “What more shall I say? I have not time to tell of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jepthah, of David and Samuel and the prophets, who by faith conquered kingdoms, did what was righteous, obtained the promises; they closed the mouths of lions, put out raging fires, escaped the devouring sword; out of weakness they were made powerful, became strong in battle, and turned…

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