Splitting the Stuff: A Child’s View

splitting up the stuff empty spaces

Who Gets What in Divorce? Divorce is lousy. Our marriage is breaking up, and sometimes the entire household is, too.  But what about the children? It’s hard to consider the children when we are dividing household items during divorce. The spouse moving out rarely considers that their personal items were familiar household staples to the children. We’re already struggling with our personal pain and distress, sometimes it takes all our time and energy just to provide the basic necessities as a newly single parent. The there’s the issue of “fairness.” What’s fair for one spouse to have versus the other? Sometimes the courts make the ultimate decision of who gets what. But what about the children? How do they feel while the family home is being dismantled and divvied up? Empty Spaces in the Home Echo Empty Spaces in the Heart I remember a sleep over with a friend when I was in third grade. We were sitting in her living room playing Backgammon on their coffee table. She pointed out an interesting piece of art hanging over the couch, then excitedly jumped up on the couch to flip it over and allow the sand to pour through the image of the…

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Separation & Divorce – The Grieving Process

Image via Wikipedia The death of a marriage is very very similar to the death of a loved one. In some ways, it can be worse (in my opinion). For me, the death of my husband’s love for me and the subsequent destruction of our marriage was the worst thing I’d ever experienced. The extenuating circumstances, of course, have a lot to do with the level of pain involved. As I went through separation and divorce, I felt, and still feel, that the only pain that could have been worse would have been the death of one of my children. From the time my marriage was dealt the first really destructive blow until the day the divorce was final was a period of 2 1/2 years.   That was a time of intense pain, disappointment, fear, panic, denial, hope (occasionally), strength… and weakness. For well over a year, I cried at least once every day…but it was usually more than once. Up until that point, I had cried maybe once every 5 years, if that!  In other words, I’m not a crier by nature, so this was way out of character for me and it was horrid. What would make the…

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