Sharing the Holidays: Merry Christmas From My Broken Family

The holidays will never be the same for any of us with families broken by divorce. My family’s experience of the holidays are likely very different from yours. We were blessed to have a “cordial” divorce. There were no abusive behaviors or viciousness in the marriage, during the divorce process, or afterwards. Your family must choose, with the grace of God, how to re-create and share holidays to best fit your unique families. Holidays are a reminder of the brokeness in my family.  Although our divorce agreement spells out the shared holiday schedule, we have never gone by it. In fact, I couldn’t tell you where my children are supposed to be this Easter, but I can know where they will be. Every year, every Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, my children do what they have always done. They start the morning at home with Mass and breakfast. Then at some point between 11am and 1pm off they go to the big family meal with grand-parents, aunts, uncles and cousins. We used to do that as a family. Now they all go without me. It’s Not Fair It’s my legal right to have the children all to myself on certain holidays. But just because…

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Happy Mother’s Day!!

HAPPY  MOTHER’S DAY!!!! God bless us all, everyone. 🙂 I wish you all a wonderful day.  Hopefully, you’ll find at least a moment (if not more) for some peace and relaxation.  Take time to marvel at your children, the way you did when they were babies and it was hard to tear your eyes away from them. 🙂  Also take time to marvel at your life as a mom and all that means.  It’s truly a wondrous “role” we’ve taken on and, I think, the most noble one any human being can have.  Fatherhood is a very close second but motherhood…well, it’s different.  These children came from our bodies!  (to say nothing of the pain that was involved with that 🙂 ) At any rate…you’re amazing women.  Be aware of that today and always.  And follow Mary’s lead.  She’s there to guide us in motherhood (no easy task – motherhood).  She experienced immense joy as well as horrific pain as the mother of Jesus…and as our mother.  No matter what trials you face, she understands.  Embrace her…follow her…and you’ll always find the strength you need. May God bless you and bring you peace. Manya

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Christmas Can Be Painful for Divorced Catholics

Just a quick note to wish you all a very, merry Christmas.  This can be a very difficult time of year for those going through separation and divorce as well as for those who have been divorced for a while but who find that this time of year can magnify feelings of loneliness and loss.  And if this is the year when your spouse gets to spend Christmas day with your children….well, enough said.  That’s just even harder. I wish you all faith that grows stronger now and into the new year.  For this is the key to the speediest and most complete, deep down recovery from the pain, fear and changes that are brought about by divorce.  If you find that your faith is weak right now because of the divorce, please hang in there and “fake it til you make it.”  This is exactly what happened to me but I kept practicing my faith and trying to pray…and my faith eventually returned stronger than ever.  And I became stronger than ever as a result. Also…I’ve highly recommended this so many times and in so many places, but please bear with me while I recommend it again….go to www.DivorcedCatholic.com…

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Holy Week!

Image by TW Collins via Flickr Wishing you a wonderful and blessed Holy Week! What Easter/Holy Week traditions do you have?  I attended the Holy Thursday service for the first time in my life last year!  I plan to attend it again this year.  I think afterwards, I’ll watch The Passion ( a great movie for bringing Christ’s passion to life).  Friday I’ll take off from work. For years I’ve been wanting to go to the midnight mass on the eve of Easter but we just don’t manage to stay up late enough.  Maybe this year….  I hear it’s beautiful. My exhusband’s family are Russian so for the past 20 years I’ve been making Paska during Easter week.  Mmmm….  His mother taught me how to make it the first Easter after we married.    It doesn’t quite look like the picture here because it’s actually baked in a coffee can…so it’s tall and cylindrical.  But it IS covered with icing and sprinkles.   This year, my oldest daughter plans to make them.  🙂  I love the passing on of traditions! God bless all of us this week and bring us closer to Him during this, the holiest week of the…

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